Denim and other horrible things: a tale of sensory icks and nightmares

I wanted to describe what it's like living with sensory differences as an AuDHD-er and I couldn't think of how to do it without creating an incredibly long list that absolutely no one would want to read. On that basis, I felt the best way to describe it was to use my own ranking system called, 'the sensory icks and nightmares scale'.

Caveat: I use humour to process a lot of my challenges around being neurodivergent, but I would like to emphasise that sensory processing issues are not a laughing matter and have a significant impact on quality of life. We should always be careful when discussing these topics and approach with sensitivity, especially if we don't experience them ourselves.

My primary goal for discussing my experience of sensory differences is to help people understand how difficult it can be to navigate a world that's full of sensory triggers and challenges. There is often a perception that those with sensory differences are "picky" or "difficult", but I'd like to show how this perception is mistaken, as it correlates with a lack of understanding around how neurodivergent individuals process, and respond to, the world around them.

It's not particularly easy revealing these things as it resurfaces internalised feelings of shame and fears of being perceived as "strange" or "weird", but I do feel it's important to reduce stigma, and to increase awareness and understanding. We shouldn't feel ashamed just because we experience the world in a different way.

What are sensory differences?

Autistica have very nicely summed this up:

"Around 9 in 10 autistic people process sensory information differently. For some, it can cause challenges in everyday life. A person can be over-sensitive, under-sensitive or both. Someone can experience sensory differences with sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touch, balance or body awareness. Sensory experiences can change how someone feels physically, where they can go and how they interact with others."

It's important to note that sensory differences are not exclusively associated with Autism/ASD. In fact, they can be associated with other types of neurodivergence (e.g. ADHD, dyspraxia) and can also be experienced by neurotypical individuals.

The National Autistic Society have produced a fantastic guide on sensory differences, which you can access here if you'd like to know more.

My sensory icks and nightmares scale

This will look very different for every person with sensory differences, but for me, this is how I would describe my scale:

Getting ready/ dressed

This gives some context as to why I find it so difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Throw in time blindness, difficulty transitioning between tasks and lack of sleep, and you've got yourself a hot mess 😅. Getting out the door is a monumental achievement.

If you know me, you’ll no doubt have noticed that I tend to wear a variation of the same outfit because I know what to expect from a sensory perspective and it feels “safe” throughout the day. The day that M&S discontinue their line of black linen trousers (with a lovely stretchy waistband) might just be the worst day of my life. God bless the people keeping them in circulation on Vinted. True heroes.

Public Transport

This section is dedicated to my recent experiences commuting to work on the bus, a whole new set of sensory challenges!

Office Environments

I've always been lucky to have worked in very inclusive environments with reasonable adjustments/accommodations and plenty of support/acceptance. That said, the office remains one of the more challenging environments for many reasons and for many neurodivergent individuals, despite reasonable adjustments.

Here's an example: for the last few weeks I've eaten the same salad for lunch and then one day the mozzarella was too mozzarella-y and the tomatoes were too tomato-y so now I can't eat that salad again for an unknown, but likely extended, period of time.

In my previous job, we had a 'quiet room' which was a game changer, particularly for times when I was feeling overstimulated from a sensory perspective. This is inclusivity in action, special shout out to Eakin Healthcare 😊

Socialising in public places e.g. bars/cafes/restaurants

Before I was diagnosed, I often wondered why any type of public space filled me with anxiety. Sometimes I couldn't even pinpoint if it was anxiety or not, I just didn't feel right in my own skin. Now it all makes sense and why I just love being home so much (but also, my pets are there).

Holidays

I recently went on holiday and remembered why I simultaneously love and hate travelling. It's 2024, why have they not invented non-sticky sunscreen!!!!

I'm sure you get the point now 😅

I could probably add to this list on a daily basis, however, the goal was not to produce an exhaustive list of sensory difficulties/ differences, but rather to demonstrate the multiple ways that they manifest in daily life, and how this can make small 'everyday' tasks very challenging for neurodivergent individuals. Also, many neurodivergent individuals like myself are high masking, so we spend a lot of energy covering up our sensory differences (consciously and subconsciously) which can be exhausting.

This can explain why many neurodivergent individuals can become overwhelmed through a host of sensory triggers, possibly resulting in overstimulation and stress, and why managing their environment and reasonable accommodations are so important, particularly in the world of employment.

If this was new information for you, I hope it was helpful!

Thanks for reading,

Rebecca :)