ADHD, debt, and the job yhat almost slipped away
February 2018 was one of the most exciting and scariest months of my career. The social enterprise I worked for, Entrepreneurial Spark, was is in the process of being bought over by NatWest Group and I would officially become a member of the bank's staff.
Or so I thought, because it also became the most embarrassing month of my career. On 26th February 2018, I received an email saying there was an issue with my PES check (a Pre Employment Screening) and that I needed to act quickly to provide information about my financial health or I wouldn't TUPE and as a result wouldn't have a job to go to.
At that moment, a debt collection agency had been chasing me, threatening to take me to court. At the time I papered over it with bravado - I'd been a failed tech entrepreneur who had struggled badly in the first year of the business. At one point in my entrepreneurial journey I couldn't afford to buy two litres of milk, but entrepreneurship had nothing to do with this debt.
The story I told everyone, even myself at the time, was that most entrepreneurs who fail are likely to be in pretty poor financial health. There was no other story to tell, because nothing else made sense to me, just like a huge amount of other things before I started to understand the nature of ADHD.
Worried about not having a job, there was panic as I called the Debt Collection Agency, setting up a payment plan, but then failing repeatedly to get them to send me evidence that I'd done so.
Having a meeting with my boss to talk about this was, and still is, the most embarrassing meeting I've had in my 26-year career. I'm sure it was the same for him... we've not discussed it in the years since.
It all worked out (eventually), but there was a period where I thought I would lose my job. Six years later and with an understanding of my ADHD-ness, I look back and realise that my financial health back then was not a unique point in time, but typical of my early adult life and was nothing to do with entrepreneurship, albeit messing up a wifi software startup didn't help.
There's many reasons that those of us with ADHD are twice as likely to have anxiety linked to their finances and three times as likely to struggle with debt compared to the rest of the population (you can read more about this in a Guardian article here).
Impulsivity; time blindness; forgetfulness, analysis paralysis are just some of the blockers. For me it was classic ADHD - the gap between intention and action. The reason that debt collection agency was chasing me was because I hadn't paid back a sum less than £100 to a bank. It spiralled when late fees began to mount and suddenly it was hundreds and getting worse by the month. I had always intended on paying the amount in full, but just never got around to the actionable bit.
As it snowballed to more and more money and moved from a bank contacting me to a collection agency, my brain knew I needed to sort it, but somehow it couldn't move past the understanding phase to paying the money. I react exactly the same way with my car every month.
Who'll blink first, me or the light?
Francine, my wonderful, understanding and caring wife, rolls her eyes a lot at the game of chicken I play with my car all the time. I know when the fuel light comes on that I need to fill it up. I have the funds to do it. I know I need to do it. It makes absolutely, positively no rational sense not to do it. But I don't take action until the very last minute... until it gets to a point where I know that if I don't do something, I'll be at the side of the road calling the AA. Remarkably I've only managed to run out of petrol once in my life.
It was the same with paying back that money. I knew I needed to pay it. I had the money to pay it. But I just didn't take any action until I realised I was about to be at the side of the road calling the AA to see if they had any jobs going. It took until I was told I needed to sort out my financial health or I'd be in an even worse place because I wouldn't have a job to take action.
I'm in a reasonably okay financial space today (mostly managed my some tips I'll share at another point). Although my Booking.com account would suggest I can still be quite impulsive. The reason I launched this website was to drive conversations about topics that matter, but they also tend to be the topics that are often not talked about. It's important we start to talk about this topic to reduce the stigma faced by those who have been (or currently are) in the same position. Talking isn't the only thing necessary. We need to take action to support those neurodivergent people who struggle with financial literacy.
In the meantime, if you are experiencing an issue around your finances, most banks now have a helpful section on their website titled 'Struggling Financially?' (or similar) that will allow you to talk to someone and come up with a plan.