The doors in my mind are finally getting organised

To best describe how my brain processed pre-ADHD medication, picture the climactic scene in Monsters, Inc. where there's an expansive warehouse filled with millions of colourful doors. I was Mike, Sulley and Boo whizzing through the air, except in my mind, every door was competing to be the one I went through, creating a never-ending thought tornado of options screaming for attention.

But medication has changed that landscape dramatically. Now that I've been on Elvanse for close to two months, I've started to understand where the differences lie. Some of those are intangible, but some pretty clear.

Today those doors are more akin to the hallways at Lumon Industries in the phenomenal Apple TV show, Severance. The series features a mysterious corporation where employees navigate pristinely ordered, stark white corridors. There are still many doors my brain is presenting, but it's clean and simple and they're all the same shape, size and colour.

It took a while for medication to settle down and I wrote with a Hunter S. Thompson-esque ode to some of the early stage side effects here.

Thankfully they have all but disappeared. In the early days and weeks, I struggled to understand what was different outside of the problems meds brought. Today I feel pretty certain that medication is definitely making an impact. It's been easier to realise that during the few days I've forgotten to take a pill, because then I really feel it.

Before taking Elvanse one of the things I struggled to find online was any tangible outcomes that came with taking medication. What was it like? What was different? So here's four differences I have seen in the past month:

The snack attack is over

Overnight my eating habits changed. In the past I found myself snacking after 7pm for no particular reason. I wasn't hungry. Often I was actually full, but kept eating anyway. From the first day taking Elvanse, that changed. It was initially worrying as my weight dropped by a full stone in less than four weeks. Make that 14lbs (6.35kg) depending on what way you like to talk about weight.

My weight has now stabilised, and the real change is that I no longer crave sweet things like chocolate. As a result, sugary treats have quietly disappeared from my diet. At this point, the chocolate at home could stock a sweet shop, a silent relic of cravings that no longer exist.

In the past I was consistent in finishing a plate of food, then turning on Dad Mode, and eating from whoever's plate wasn't finished at the table. Today I stop eating when I feel I've had enough.

Name retention is now in beta testing

At a recent event, someone remarked that I was great at remembering names. Me? Great at names? That confused me because if you’ve read my earlier musings on names, you'll know I struggled a lot.

Back then, remembering a name was like trying to hold water in my hands - messy, futile, and more than vaguely embarrassing.

Since taking the pills, it’s like my brain has been tidied up by a very efficient librarian. Maybe it’s just that the meds have tuned the static down. I still struggle at times but it feels hugely better than it's been in forever. Either way, I’m not complaining... though I still make friends with people named 'mate' just to be on the safe side.

A little less noise, a lot more listening

In the past I was often the first person to speak up when a question was asked and to talk for too long. I've found myself recently taking a step back to see who else in the room is interested in answering a question first before having a measured response of my own.

I still voice my opinion but it feels like a more balanced approach where I'm not always talking over people. That seems like a positive move.

Goodbye, half-watched movies

Once upon a time, sitting through a movie felt like an Olympic-level endurance test. In the past decade my screen consumption has changed to watch more series than movies because of an inability to sit through anything longer than a Simpsons episode. Ten minutes into a movie I'd need to try and also respond to 73 people on WhatsApp, check some news on the NFL and play a game all at the same time.

Today I feel like I can sit through a whole movie without distraction (as long as it's a good one). The endless multitasking has calmed, and for the first time in years, I can just… watch.

Order in the hallway

And maybe that's the biggest change overall. Like trading in the chaotic door warehouse of Monsters Inc. for Lumon's ordered hallways, medication hasn't removed the doors in my mind, it's just made them easier to navigate. I can finally choose which door to walk through, rather than feeling pulled toward all of them at once.