WTF?

Welcome to The Moment, a website documenting my journey to neurodivergent diagnosis. I'm John Ferris. I've had an eclectic career (so far) ranging from a coder for a healthcare company to journalist and newspaper editor. I've been a podcaster (way back when that meant nothing to 99.999% of the population), a restaurant critic and a failed tech entrepreneur.

Since 2015, I've run an accelerator programme for startups in Belfast. I'm also one of the UK government's Dealmakers for the Global Entrepreneur Programme. In 2023 I started down a rabbit hole to see what we could do as an accelerator programme to support neurodivergent founders better.

The more I read (thank you in particular to Roxanne Emery and Richard Pink for Dirty Laundry and to Ellie Middleton for unmasked), the more things started to feel like I wasn't reading about other people, but myself.

But. WTF. I'm 47. How the hell could I have gotten this far in life without realising I was an autistic ADHDer? Fuck knows is the answer. And currently, as of writing this, I'm self-diagnosed, going through a journey with professionals to get an 'official' diagnosis.

As I've started to get to grips with a new understanding of myself, reading the multitude of resources, I didn't know what to think... on one hand I had a sense of liberation - a feeling after nearly five decades that I wasn't this odd person who was alone - but someone with a tribe who understood me. But I equally felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed as shit (I forgot to mention I swear a lot). A lot of resources online make me feel confused. Acceptable terminology for one person will be seen as derogatory to another.

As someone who worked in media for 15 years, I've always been more interested in behind the scenes of a story than the story itself.

And so, I've decided... for better or worse... to document the journey from waking up one day, aged 47, and realising I'm an autistic ADHDer (and someone who until a few weeks ago didn't know the difference between neurodiversity and neurodivergent) to diagnosis.

I'll write about that journey plus some news articles and interviews. I'm sure I'll make mistakes on the way, especially when it comes to language. If I do, please don't hesitate to either call me out publicly or drop me an email... though I'd really prefer the latter :)

I should also note that this is my journey and that I'm in a very privileged position. I'm male, white and currently work for a bank that has healthcare benefits allowing me to go through this journey utilising private medical insurance. I understand my journey will be different than others who don't have the same privileges I do.

I hope, that by bringing diversity of voice to The Moment podcast, which launches in March 2024, that this site and its content will be reflective of many different voices and not just my own. The podcast will focus on The Moment each guest realised they are neurodivergent as well as discussing different topics that resonate in this space.

I've always felt more comfortable with writing than talking, so this website will be cathartic for me but I hope that by documenting my journey in an honest and open way, that it will help others who are going through it too. Because, The Moment I realised I was neurodivergent, my life changed forever. Sometimes that's hard, other times it's liberating. Either way, it's me.

Thanks for reading this far and being part of my journey.